Watching Over Us

I took the bus to school yesterday. It happened to drive past the ACS (I) track and it reminded me of you. I saw the kids playing around the polevault mat and I immediately thought of you.

It's so hard. Sometimes in the day there are times I feel like crying because I know you're not here anymore but I hold it inside. There are times when I worry so much for your family. You were like a younger brother to me. And I am sorry I couldn't have done anything for you.

I don't think anyone really understands unless they've lost someone before. You're not something to get over. You're not something to move on from. You're part of my past, my life and part of me. Not thinking about you isn't going to make things better. By remembering our happy times you will always be here with me. I hope you are watching from above and watching over us. Making sure every step of the way is okay somehow.

I guess part of me hasn't come to terms with the fact that you're no longer here. And you must understand that I have to take my own time to heal. Watch over us. I will miss you always.