Jurassic Park and Velociraptors

My heel has been hurting for the last 2 weeks. Almost walking like dog from the SPCA, I finally went to see the free doctor in school today. There's something fishy about NTUC providing healthcare. You almost expect them to have a "buy 2 checkups get 1 free sign".

I pointed to my foot and showed him my heel, saying I must have stepped on something. Haha he laughed. Oh boy here it comes. "Oh, don't worry, I'll give you the number for the specialist to perform cryogenic surgery". CRYOWHATTHEFUCKDIDYOUSAY? But actually all I said to the doctor was, "shit what is that?!". The expression on my face was exactly the same one I wore when I found out my A level results. The only cryowhatthefuck I've ever heard was the cryogenic chambers that they kept the velociraptor embryos in Jurassic Park. And remember what happened to the dinosaurs?

The doctor said it involved using liquid nitrogen to burn the living shitlights out of the virus on my heel. Gee that doesn't sound too bad. I imagine the surgeon wearing Arnold Swarzchenager's Mr Freeze suit (circa Batman Forever) and pointing his ballistic diamond-fed ice cannon at my foot.

"Is this normal?" I asked. The doctor laughed again. Cue punching doctor in face. "Oh don't worry its normal. It's just a virus of the skin." Oh well ok thanks asshole. It's not everyday you're told that they're going to use Jurassic Park technology on your foot to breed dinosaurs.

I left the clinic 1) with an appointment letter 2) still walking like a dog 3) wishing I had punched Dr. NTUC on cue.