It's Friday night and Just got home. Shit tired like hell.

Met yoons, wang and yong for lunch the other day during our lunch break. It's a great feeling to see your ac pals all doing well, and getting all geared up for the real world. In many ways ac has been a good foundation for our future. Inevitably we started talking about work and then it just started coming non-stop. Yoons was shaking his head at us go on.

I met up with weiyi last night and the same thing happened. For 2 hours we talked about nothing but our future job (and future) and deliberated the banking life. I sat down with Jason at food republic and the conversation about consulting and banking just wouldn't stop.

The grossness won't end.

I guess it's not deliberate. It's not a plan that someone said ok guys gee let's talk about something boring. Sometimes that kinda talk really turns me off. But at this age, I think we're beginning to realise that our career is going to begin sooner than we think it is. And it is most comforting to talk about it with your friends.

I talked to Jason today and for once i think we were really honest about our future. It wasn't some cock-ass talk about how amazing banking is, it was real. We both agreed that as much as there is prestige and pay, i-banking may not be that fun. He said that if he did i-banking he'd be unhappy for 2 years. And I agreed. I know I'd probably not be very happy either. But yet we agreed if the job came to us upon graduation on a silver platter, we'd still take it up.

One bad thing about smu is that its all about the banking jobs. It really is. In a small school locked up with some of the brightest kids, competition is tough, and herd instinct kicks in. Suddenly every tom dick and harry wants to do banking. And I am one of the cows. Banking has become a glorified job. It's like the holy grail for graduates. The default religion for smudents.

After doing 5 internships. I can say that I can pretend to be an auditor just as good as pretending to be an advertiser. Push comes to shove, I can probably eat shit in any industry. But I'm wondering if working in a bank is really something I want to do.

Jase then talked about how sucky it was not having anyone good at marketing on his case team and the I said, "Shit take me in. If there's anything I can do it's marketing." And with that he encouraged me to do something that I really like. Part of me is split between marketing and finance. I can probably bluff my way into a bank job, but marketing is really my forte.

The practical part of me wants to take the default route. Become a banker and earn money. But there is a side of me that wants to do something I like, which may lead me to better things in the long run, and that's marketing. I look at my resume now and there's a certain polarity to it.

Tangs, marriott and water's edge on one side. And pwc and citibank on the other. This is a true representation of the dilema I face. And I may have to put some serious thought into this soon. It's funny because now I have drafted 2 different resumes. One hiding my creative side, and another hiding my finance side. I feel very fortunate to have the options, but soon I am going to have to stop procrastinating and make a choice.