At 9.30pm my mom knocked on my room door and asked if I could get her some chili crab. "Can I pick them up tmrw?" I said. "Oh no I feel like eating it now," she replied. HUH? Was this my mom speaking.

So in 5 minutes we got into the defender and she was telling me how she has had this major craving for crabs. "Mom aren't you coughing?" I said. She smiled like a 6 year old girl caught eating ice cream with a sorethroat.

In the car we started talking about many things. One of which was how she would not regret if she passed away tomorrow. "I have no regrets. I've lived. And I think you all have grown up in the right direction," she said, "but if I knew I didn't have much time left I'd eat alot of fois gras, pate and chili crab."

That reminded me of a type of paper we know as money. I have been told that money doesn't buy happiness. And it's true. However, happiness can't buy many other things. Like a home for your family. The best education for your children. The best doctor for your family. Gifts for friends. Or fois gras, pate and chili crab. Money, to me, has always been a means for something.

I've also been told that money isn't everything. And that's also true. But who can argue that it doesn't make our future and our family's future alot brighter.

We always think of happiness and money as 2 poles of a continuum. It's either or. But personally I think that theory is bullshit and are for those people who are lazy to be happy and successful at the same time. It is the ultimate excuse of choice for the connoisseur of the laisse faire lifestyle, either that or the classic cynic. Of course I can imagine that being happy and successful is probably a daunting task, but can we ignore the fact that this pursuit is possible? I believe that the meter for happiness and success are 2 separate gauges which have to be worked on separately.

Of course who the hell knows if this hypothesis is true. I mean what the hell would I know. But recently, I've been thinking alot about an attack plan for my next few years. Evaluating my goals. I suppose because recently alot of opportunities have opened and closed for me. And now after the big changes have been made, I feel alot stronger and determined. I can't tell you how much the last few months have changed me. It's like Ian V3.0. Beta testing.

Part of the things I'm thinking of might be taking the term off to travel, do some volunteer work and complete my CFA level 1. I'm also thinking about going to NYU for summer next year. I have to draft out my plans soon so I know how much time I can afford. Can't wait to get this off my mind and live like a student again. Like a kid.