Today I missed work because I wasn't feeling so good. So instead of doing a great deal of nothing, I went to get signed up for the bloomberg terminal at the national library and I also went to the school library to take a look at the CFA books, and lo and behold, the curriculum was best summed up by the word "omfg".

Life flashing before me in various shades of sepia, I just almost wanted to die. In half an hour I glanced through the finance material and envisioned what my life would be like over the next few months. And it wasn't a pretty sight. It didn't scare me, it fucking scared me.

Over the last few months I've made a great deal of effort in dipping my foot into the pool of the finance world. On one hand I think I've done reasonably well in my work, but on the other hand there is a nagging thought that won't go away.

Do you remember how you think you were born to do something when you were young? Maybe a teacher, lawyer, doctor, astronaut. Being a banker was not on my list. But being an artist was.

Numbers don't make sense to me. Ratios and graphs are even less enticing. But if you show me a picture I can tell you if it's ugly or not. I can draw a circle freehand. I can match colors and shades. I can write poems, stories and songs. I can match an outfit for you. I can help you check your grammer. I can think of ideas.

Unfortunately artists don't make money. But think of something practical like marketing and that's something great.

The problem with marketing is that it looks like a second class job next to something like banking at a school like SMU when of course it isn't. As I've said before, the problem with SMU is that it's all about finance. And so everything else looks abit blah next to the word "bank". I'll be quick to admit that I am a sucker for achievement. Prestige and respect is important to me. So in the context of SMU, I've been lured into finance for those reasons. Also, alot of people I know are in the finance world, so alot of opportunities come easily, and it's hard to pass up.

Of course it's nice to say that you're working in a bank. It's even nicer when your position ends with a banker. But at the end of the day, who really gives a shit. The whole point is to do something you're really good at, and fucking excel and beat the shit out of everyone at what you're doing.

There is no way I can be a fantastic banker. If you put 30 people in a room and test them on maths and finance, I'll probably be in the bottom half. But if you test the same 30 people on art, design, fashion or language, I could probably give most of the 30 guys a run for their money. And if it comes to career in doing something like that, I'd probably make peanuts in th beginning but be able to grow in the long run.

After doing a whole summer of finance work, I'm just glad to say that wherever my career leads me, I'd have made a calculated guess. There's no doubt it's between banking or marketing. But this coming term I am ditching finance to work on art and the things I am naturally better at.

Mark is one of the people I admire. He knows he doesn't want to do finance so he's sticking with marketing and corporate communications. He doesn't need to follow the crowd just cuz he's in smu. People like Jonathan are going berkeley to study music. Sean is doing art.

If you're reading this, I hope you've had the time to discover what you really enjoy doing. I just think it's important to do something you're good at so you'll always come to the office (or not) knowing that you're doing what you do best. And it's most important because you don't want to be doing something you suck at for what 30 years or more? And I'm not sure, but I think that spells happiness and hopefully success in the long run. And even if you haven't, I challenge you to find out what you're good at.