OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

FINISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SPARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

As I flipped over the exam question paper and read the questions I WAS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG THANK GOD DEBBIE SENT ME THE PROJECT PAPERS SO I CAN CUT AND PASTE EVERYTHINGGGG OMG AUGUSTINE EAT YOUR PAPER THANKSSSSSS DEBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! The econs exam was open laptop so me and Gabe compiled the one glossary to rule them all and collected all the other groups papers. When I saw the questions I wanted to scream and cry and hug gabe but communication between candidates is prohibited.

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

ITS OVERR!!! Me and Gabe were shouting "Freedom" like 10 times from the sob toilet to the mrt station. Ok maybe 12 times. We took out our pent up frustration and newly established sense of emancipation (of we we) and shot the crap out of the velociraptors in the Jurassic Park 2 game at the arcade.

I AM SO DONE WITH REDBULL I SWEAR.

Today had 2 paperssss I swear GROSNESSS TO THE MAX. The first one was yucksfest '07 by our east german prof. I swear it was set by the gestapo. I felt like I bashed down the berlin wall and walked over to the west because the afternoon paper was the complete opposite. TOBIAS RETTIG IS THE BEST AND YOU HEARD IT HERE! Was writing like mad house cuz he was specific about what we should study. We heart toby and toby hearts us. Me and lionel thinking of sending him something from marks and sparks for christmas and maybe share with some of the rest. Nicest prof in the history of nicest profs.

Lionel's last paper on sat. Like ever. He's starting work at Shell in jan so this is it. Kinda sad isn't it? Hope we'll be in touch. But i think should be no prob cuz the Shell building is nearby which means we can go to central for jap food again with Min hahaha.

Its so wierd, Brig and Lin Ting are working at PWC 3 days after exams. Time seriousllllly flies.

The last time me, lionel, brig and lin ting met up we were interning at pdubs and having dinner after work. OMG will never forget dinner at cafe cartel. I was like an hour late, shack like shit, and all of us were carrying our act auditing laptop bags and pwc files. That day was pull-out day so I was carrying a ton of files with all the bloody financial statements in them when Lin Ting told me I wasn't supposed to bring the files out. HECK LA.

No wonder I'm not an accountant.

Today I was studying with X and X and we had this random idea of moving to X after we graduate. Me and X knew X would love the idea because even though he's studying business I bet he'd enjoy working with kids alot more. Made me think about my original plan to work at X after I graduate. Maybe I don't really like X that much. I dunno its hard to think about it really. Between X, X and X I still think that it was the best place I've worked at. I'll give it time to sort itself out. Whatever it is we've got the backup plan hahaha. X HERE WE COME! Wear red underwear shout loud loud XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! moment.

I'm really happy for X that he got a job doing a brochure for X. This is another step up for him since last writing an article for X. He's definitely on his way.

I asked X and X to sign up for the X workshop with me. If I'm still sticking to my original plan of working at X after I graduate it would be nice to some experience knowing how to operate X. I think its a useful skill to learn because its such a basic platform.

Me, X and X signed up for the X challenge online. We only have one day to do it after exams wtf. Its abit annoying that I have to start working right after exams. And then its the X workshop on tues. HAHA OMG X is so going to slack while me and X do all the work I SWEARR. Kidding la X.

X wrote back to me yest to say that they are accepting applications. I'm really glad because I didn't think I'd hear from them. I really hate writing the cover letters because it does take up alot of time.

X's idea about going to X with X has made me think maybe I should do something fun this year. I'm still thinking of setting up X next year. It might take some time but I really will enjoy doing X as opposed to something which requires any thinking. THANK X ITS THE END OF EXAMS TMRW. Seriously damn tired. tXif. Hope I won't be too tired to go X with X after. Jiayouz to the max.

Thanks to the power of Visa, I signed up for the Introduction to Financial Statements course with INSEAD over the internet. It's like a revision for all the accounting stuff I've done in FA and PWC. Alan said that I'd have to read financial statements at Templeton so I thought it would be good to do a refresher course and slap something on my resume at the same time since I have nothing much to do during the hols.

It's been quite a madhouse year because I've been working like hell towards finance. If you use your index finger and cover the line which reads "bachelors of social science, major in psychology", there's no way you'd be able to guess what I'm majoring in from my CV. To make things more schizo, I made 2 different resumes so that my arty bohemian marketing side doesn't clash with my bureaucratic, corporate finance side.

Next year is going to be an even more madhouse year. Because I'm taking a term off, it's 4 internships back to back. Citi is not confirmed yet and I'm a little kancheong about the whole application thing because I'm such a damn planner. If they don't get back to me by Jan I'll prob have to email uncle kwang meng in HK or jeffrey in NY. To be honest I'd much rather go to citi HK or credit suisse NY because it would be alot more exciting, but I've got to take this last internship like my job interview, and chances are I'd rather work here over hk or ny.

I'm thinking even if it doesn't fall through, it would be nice if I just had some time to travel and maybe do some relief work in Africa. Ever since watching that Angelina Jolie documentary I realised that something so basic as food and water is so scarce in other parts of the world.

This term has been so draggy because I didn't have much to look forward to. But next term will be alot better because I am just looking forward to the end of it ha. The irony.

I seriously can't wait for the exams to end because:

1) its hard to be surfing for gadgets online and reading notes at the same time
2) we're going to Japan!
3) I need a new wardobe. And at the rate I'm going I'm going to literally need another one.
4) I need to catch up on my harvard finance lessons
5) I want to do that financial statements course with INSEAD
6) I am drinking too much red bull
7) my mac is getting gross but I have no time to clean it
8) I am sick of school and it means I'm one step closer to starting my internships
9) David is coming home
10) I need to jump start my exercise routine
11) Balancing youtube, studying, sleeping, msning and stoning is seriously a drag

Shack like shit.

Yesterday went to the kitchen to make my daily instant noodles. Dried them using the strainer till Mr Cockroach decided it was showtime and crawled from underneath the strainer to say hello while I was holding it. Of course the strainer went flying into the sink and so did my idea of having supper. My kitchen is like fucking jumanji. Tomorrow I expect to find a Hyena in my noodle cupboard.

Been having Thaiexpress 3 days in a row which would make it a turkey by today. I just got the orange card so that means I get 20% off when I eat there. The food is really nice. I swear on my life that the basil beef rice, yellow chicken curry and the honey chicken rice is damn good.

I bought a nice shirt from Fox today. I hate Fox usually because I feel like some of the clothes are malaysia quality. I need new clothes. Will shop after the exams. Mikey finished his A levels. Yay. I bought him a watch with a space invaders spaceship on it because it looks quite kanye / pharrel. Our taste is very similar except Mike's is more US and mine is more Euro.

I can't wait for the exams to be over. I've had a lonnnng 2007. Can't wait to go Osaka! I've #@$%ing worked my ass off this year and I deserve a timeout.

I had nothing to do on Friday so I called up Uncle Leslie's plastic surgery clinic to make an appointment with him to check out this pigmentation on my lip and a injection bump that I've had since I was a baby. I asked how much was the consultation. "Oh it's $150 for the first 20 mins," came the friendly reply from the receptionist. A hundred and fucking fifty what? Oh well.

So I went to see Uncle Les and saw all the dozen certificates of surgery he framed on the wall, next to the botox brochures and facelift files. When it was my turn he gave a surprised "What are you doing here?". I was like, "You need to help me out!". I said, "Ok so how much is it going to cost me?" He said normally he charges $4000 WTF but he'd do it free of charge. I was like, "Wait what do you mean?" He said we could pay in installments of ice cream. So I walked out with an appointment for 3rd of Dec and feeling quite lucky and grateful. THANKS UNCLE LES. I told mom and she said it reminded her of the time uncle ngoi did auntie vera's cancer surgery for free. It may be just a few hours of their time but it is still very kind of them.

Today was another weird medical / health day because i got a bad stomach ache all day. It's like someone kicked be in the b@!!$ seriously. I checked webmd.com and they say I have an STD or mumps. Didn't we get vaccinated against mumps?

When things go wrong. When the world is crazy. When there is too much anger. When there is too much hate.

Then there is only one thing that remains that really matters.

It is the thing that binds friends together.

The stuff that families are made of.

Or the bond that is shared between loved ones.

It is easy to forget.

And sadly we only remember it in difficult times.

But it is in difficult times that we see more clearly.

What is important and what isn't.

In just one year I've seen so many things.

All grown up now but never jaded.

Just wiser. More positive. More grateful.

Appreciative of whatever I have left.

Cherishing each moment.

Ready to defend what i believe in.

Ready to drop the world in a heartbeat.

For the only thing that means everything.

For the only thing that means anything.

After hearing Emmy Rossum's movie version of "Think of Me" from the Phantom of The Opera I went to search for the original Sarah Brightman version. Yikes all I can say is Sarah is the tops of the pops. Her vocals are amazing. I'm supposed to be finishing my sociology paper but I did a quick recording of the song, trying not to butcher it as much as possible. It's been some time since I sang a classical style song.

Think of Me - Ian

We always talk about doing a job we love or pursuing a passion or setting up our own business. I wish life were that simple. We forget that there are people we need to support. People who are going to fall ill. People who need our help. And more often than not these people are family.

My god sometimes I talk to my grandma and it's emo fest. She's not had an easy life. My grandfather died early. She's been sick before. And recently there's alot on her mind about my aunt who's got diabetes. Life is not perfect, and as I grow up I am learning you have to deal with it, otherwise it's going to deal with you.

Money isn't everything. But when you have to pay medical bills, rent, utilities and more, you begin to realize that there are some things that money can buy.

The truth is I hate to worry about money. It's like life is already so complicated, I don't want to have to worry about something as stupid as money. Maybe that's why it's important for me to get a good job. So I can just concentrate on working hard and doing my thing rather than how I'm going to make ends meet. I may not prefer doing a better paid job. But it may mean that me and family get to live easier. And that's real happiness.

My family has never been poor but even so I never take anything I have for granted. The biggest lesson that my grandma taught me is, "study hard. if you study hard we'll all get a big house to live in." And that house has to fit everyone I love.

I got an email from my sociology prof saying my paper looks promising! I'm quite happy really. I was SO struggling with coming up with a theory:



So there is is!! It's ok if you dunno wtf it means cuz sometimes I'm not really sure. But it's basically how power is perceived and influences decision making in the realm of international politics. Yeah it's abit wtf, but if it wasn't wtf we wouldn't call it social science.

In other oh so unexciting social science news my political science paper abstract came back and my prof said its potentially v interesting. Yaysish. I'm quite happy because Toby is my favorite prof this term and I'll be taking pol sci under him. Lionel and Norainee got the same grade as me for this so I'm happy for them.

After weeks of average grades I'm glad that my grades are picking up. LAST BURST OF FIRE.

Just finished my last presentation. International Econs. Was really good. Our project was on the subprime situation. The prof looked happy so that's the most important thing. My groupmates were really fun and I'm glad to have Shivika, Martina, Salman, Anriban and Gabe in my group. No way we could have been a better team. I really enjoy projectwork, especially if everyone has something to bring to the table. And in this case it was true. Last term Shivika was in my accounting class and she is so bright. So at the end of econs class I asked her to form a group with gabe and gang. I'm glad things turned out well. I think this has been my best project group so far. OK EXCEPT MARKETING HAHA.

Mom is back after heading to Las Vegas to see Dave, Toronto to see Sih-Ee, and I can't remember where for Auntie Grace's son's wedding. It's good to have her home. Especially now that our supply of instant noodles will not run out every few days and the fridge will be occasionally stocked with Florida's Natural. Sitting around the dining table at 1am and watching her explain her past 3 weeks in the US to us and Bap, I felt very lucky to have a family like ours.

Bumped into Naf today. OMG haven't seen her in like since summer started. She invited me for her wedding but I couldnt make it. The story goes she met a guitarist from the crazily popular european band called The Rasmus after their their concert, and to make a long story short, she's got a rock star husband. We said we'll meet up after exams. I can't wait to see what her husband is like. I better go d/l the songs just for reference. He's moved here and they've got a new flat coming up. He's venturing into music producing so maybe I'll hook him up with Uncle Keng Long because he's only like the biggest music producer ever here. Not say abit the 98.7 meets 93.3.

HAHA omg was thinking about babysitting norainee's baby while she was presenting in class. DAMN CUTE. Damn funny. Prof Toby was very nice about letting her bring Ameer to class. It was damn funny cuz Ameer bear would make noise unless someone rocked him. So I had to like carry him for half an hour while the presentation was going on. I swear I dunno how angelina jolie slings around her babies like a bloody gibbon cuz I was so shack after that. Haha omg and he loves seeing cars so I had to let him look at the traffic from the windows. It was so fun until I heard like a POOT noise twice and something started to smell like a dead carcass. Ok it wasn't so bad. Babies have that wierd baby poop smell. ARGH haha omg Ameer was damn cute. OMG I hate it when Norainee grabs Ameer's hands and goes "UNCLE IAN! UNCLE IAN!" hahahaha. I swear this mommy is the baby. Shit we're getting old.

Eric came over last week and we played guitars heroes 3 like mad. So I was thinking why not learn the real thing? So yesterday I went to peninsula plaza and bras basah to look for an electric guitar. Unfortunately the shops were closing so I didn't have time to pick one. Do you know for $180 you can get a guitar and an amp? WTF

So I borrowed Uncle Eug's hugeass Epiphone solid wood electric which came with a hugeass amp to go along with it. Thanks to youtube and other wierd internet marvels, I learned 3 chords. KNN it's not easy seriously. My fingers are chuided and on the verge of turning blue black.

PERSEVEREEEEEEE. I don't know if I spelt that correctly.

URGH I was walking to the kitchen to make my daily supper of instant noodles. So then I turned on the light and as usual, 3 lizards on different areas of the kitchen quickly dash out of sight. So then I head towards the noodle drawer when suddenly I felt something wet and squirmy wriggling under my foot. OMFG WTF IS THAT???!!! Turns out it was a #$%&ing lizard!! URGHHHH the poor thing must have been a teenage lizard cuz it wasn't big or small. And although it was still alive and in one piece I squeezed the bejesus out of it and it was motionless but breathing. BLEAAGHH At first I didn't realise the puddle of juice was from the lizard but then after it evaporated so quickly then I realised it was definately lizard lava. ARGHHHHHH. After that I totally didn't feel like eating noodles. PUKE. I'm sorry but WTF were you doing on the floor?! So thanks to Mr Lizard I'm not taking my daily MSG dose and I won't be eating instant noodles for a week in loving memory.

Ok at least its not as bad as the time i killed a cockcroach, forgot I killed it after an hour of ally mcbeal, and then stepped on the bubblegummy goodness. Moral of the story is be grateful you weren't born a pest.

I am not a full believer.

But if there is a God. I am grateful to him for my family and friends.

The people that can share my joy. The people that share my pain.

How else can you describe this? Maybe one word. Love.

What else in this world really matters? Nothing. Maybe except God himself.

I will figure that one out.

But for now I am just grateful.

And I say a prayer for that.

Tomorrow I'll visit Kai's family if I can after school. It's a twist of fate that he passed away a few days from his Birthday. I can imagine auntie seok yong and uncle chee chiang will be pretty down this period. Recently I've been thinking about Kai. The chengs used to drop off food or stop by to say hello sometimes, but not recently. I guess I haven't heard from them in awhile. It will probably open up old wounds. But I think we all miss Kai. By sticking together we keep that piece of him inside us alive.

On a happier note tomorrow Norainee is bring her son to class because her parents are unwell so they can't look after him. YAY! I am the designated nanny for tomorrow because she has to do a presentation in class, and I have exclusive rights to Ameer while she is busy. My god I love kids. I swear even if I had one now I'd be a good dad. I'd take him out every saturday just like bap used to take us out. I'd be good at reading, and I'd make make him watch spongebob with me.

Sometimes I wonder how the $#%& did my parents do such a good job. If they had an appraisal I'd give them full marks. My only gripe is that we never had soft drinks in the house when we were kids and they limited us to one ice cream a day. We always hold that against them haha. But other than that, I just don't know how they did it. I think I set the precedent as the elder brother by never letting them nag. OMG the times I had literally debates with my mom. Somehow we could always have a very rational debate. We were like the epitomy of ACJC VS RJ debate team. On the other hand, me and my dad would argue like ACJC VS RJ rugby team.

But I think at the end of the day I realized that my parents always gave me space, and they knew I could make decisions on my own. And that's why we have alot of respect for each other. Yknow if they were my age and I had never known them before, I think we could be friends. Ok. Weird.

Tough being a parent. But I'll be the first to sign up when the time comes.