Time for bed. Almost. I just remember I was loading an episode of Project Runway.

JPM hasn't gotten back. I believe they must have picked someone already. I did my interview last Tuesday and still no reply. The first time I did my interview on Wed and I knew by Monday. Chances are I think the fact that I didn't have a "bachelors of business" makes this a real longshot. They are probably contacting Mr Business or Mr Accounting now and not informing the rest so that if Mr Business has another offer already they can call Mr Social Science. In my mind the interview keeps on replaying and picking on my mistakes and I am prepared for the worst.

In better news I have decided to plan something different for my summer. I've decided to go to South Africa and take the course to be a certified Safari ranger. Either 1 month or 3 months. See how it goes. Not getting JPM will suck but maybe being chased by lions will help me get over my loss and put things in perspective. This is something I've always always wanted to do and I think it will be life changing to say the least.

Just thinking about the trip the last few days has got me thinking of how I've always wanted to be a vet. I can't turn back time, but I should think of things that are related to the animal business maybe. Like Zoo management, wildlife conservation. Or even helping people, doing humanitarian work. That's been a part of me that I've suppressed for so long.

Sometimes I feel like I'm 4 different people in one person. Not in terms of personality but maybe interests. It's just that the world is so big and there are so many things to do. One thing I am grateful for is how my parents have been supportive of everything I do.

I think the worst thing to have in life is no passion and no dedication. Worst thing ever. If you're not willing to go all out for something, or you're not willing to put in the effort or have the balls to take the risks, then there's no point in living really. Who actually knows what they want to do in life? No one. But you just got to try and keep trying and searching. You just got to give 101%.

I know alot of people who shortchange themselves because they don't put effort into the things they do. And it's really sad. I find it almost annoying. It's almost like being with them saps your enthusiasm about life. But for every 10 people who are like the cattle you find 1 very inspiring person. Someone different. Who stands out because they have a passion, or because they are fighting for something. And that's rare.