I love this photo. I think it explains it all. As a kid, I was always myself. Always talkative, witty and alert. Like a little grown up stuck in a kids body. Today nothing much has changed except for maybe the waist size.

But more importantly as a kid I was never mean-spirited. I never had anything bad to say to anyone. Because in my mind I could see good in everyone. I had alot of love to share.

Today however, things have changed abit. Not on the inside, but more on the outside. When we grow up we automatically toughen up to face shit. We do that by being able to curse at others, complain, gossip and speak ill of other people. Guilty as charged.

I remember it was in jc when I first started making fun of people (ever!). It felt so uncomfortable, but it felt safer to be on the side of those who were making fun of others than being made fun of. Even today as grown ups it manifests itself in saying bad things about others. It's like a knee jerk reaction.

I think today, talking to Cheryl really made me feel like I think this isn't me at all. It's just a defensive reaction which helps me feel better. But that's no reason to be mean or talk bad about anyone.

Inside, I've always been the same person I was as a kid. Intrinsically full of love for people. I think I've reached a point where it's ok to be me. I've always thought well of people, always wanted to help my friends, always wanted to make a difference. It's time the real me stood up. I won't be as witty or funny and as glib, but I think I will feel alot more like myself on the inside. And that's a promise to myself.