Well nothing much as usual. Just work again and celebrated Eric's birthday yesterday. I thought I would be dreading the start of work but actually its been quite good so far.

My department has to handle alot of agreements and fee schedules because the product managers deal with the nitty gritties of each deal. So to be honest it's not easy and it's hard to deal with so many documents especially if you don't know the processes behind them.

I was super discouraged at the start because there's just so many things to handle at one go, and I didn't know how to deal with so much work. But you know after giving my best shot, coming in earlier and leaving later than most of the people on my floor, I feel like I've earned my spot on the team.

I really take pride in my work, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job at being efficient and meticulous now. I really enjoy the work because I know that my work facilitates the deals. I think alot of people would be like FUCK so much paperwork. But you can't really escape that when you work in a big organization.

I think now I just need to keep on keeping on and to build up my confidence and familiarity with the work. There are times I feel like "how the eff am I going to do all this today??" but then somehow it just works.

It feels very different now from when I first started at Citi. I used to just do my job and hope to be able to knock off at 6 sharp, but now I am proud of my work and I really feel like I am part of the team. One way to know that you are enjoying your work is that you feel energized even right after work, just like with my time at Tangs, and that's something I feel with my my work now.

That something that's really important to me because after work is where life begins, and if your work drains you out, then you don't get to enjoy the other things in life. I'm glad things have progressed naturally without forcing, and this makes me more confident about my career choices.